Granny's O-bit@h-uary!

There's a couple things to note about when I die. First I want it to be on my terms. NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN SUICIDE... I want to live a long, long, long time, watch my children and grandchildren grow up. I will never harm myself, what I mean by that is, I'm gonna wear my seatbelt, drive safe, look both ways crossing the street and take all my medications as prescribed. However, if I ever become terminally ill, I want the right to be able to say, pull the plug, or give me those pills and lots of them doc. Secondly, If I know I'm gonna die, I want to have some  fun right before I go and do things right.  Spend time with my family, tell some fart jokes, and maybe throw in a bucket of chicken, some Purple Sunshine and turn on a copy of Dark Side of the Moon just before I check out. 

Dark side of chicken

Once that day comes, my hope is that my children will write something nice about dear old dad. I'd love the world to know that this is my family and I did the best I could as long as I could and I loved these people dearly and they loved me too.

But one Minnesota mother apparently...well, I guess she sucked and her kids let the world know.  

Evil Granny

First of all to her children...Congratulations??? How do you respond to something like that. Kinda awkward. 

Secondly, she kinda looks like my mother in law...My mother in law was a saint though. (I'm writing that with just a hint of sarcasm. Sorry Ann)

My mother wasn't the nicest person in the world, but I loved her and when she died, she got a respectable obituary, but dang Mrs. Dehmlow there sounds like a real life Mommie Dearest! 


My mother had no problem with wire hangers. Anything that would get my "G-DD-MN Clothes off the Floor!" would have made her happy. I could have hung them up with thumb tacks if I needed to, just as long as they were hung up. 


So what it boils down to is, don't be a dick folks. Love your kids, but also treat them with respect no matter what the age. After all, not only are they the one who carry on your legacy, they are the ones who will decide what to do with you when you get too old to take care of yourself and they're the ones who are gonna decide what's in your obituary. 

Put that in your pipe an smoke it...and tell your family you love them. Unless they suck. 



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