Day strippers work hard. Most of the time they are college students who may look like they should have graduated back in 1998, but they still need that cash for diapers and text books, bless em! So I've compiled a list of 10 things not appreciated the way they should be.
10. Day Strippers. These hard working ladies are often maligned by society. The lighting is adjusted, the songs are often bad or very old which may indicate the amount of rings on her tree stump (is she dancing to Private Dancer or anything by the Jackson Five), and she may very well be wearing a court ordered ankle monitor, but dammit she's out there giving it all she's got to put food on the table and to bail Ricky out from his last Meth Bust.
9. Scabs and pimples. If the Hellraiser films have taught us anything, it's that there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. If you have a wound it will scab over. If you pick at it, it will hurt and probably run. That's kinda satisfying in a weird sort of way isn't it? My wife loves to pop pimples and watch videos of pimple popping. It's gross, but it's a fact of life. A painful fact, but damn it's cool. Just wash your hands because infections spread. Check out this yummy picture of a MRSA infection I had about 5 years ago. This was next to my belly button and started off as a pimple I tried to pop. I had to be on antibiotics, and it hurt like a mother******, but it was a great conversation starter especially if I wanted to be alone.
8. Anime. This blog post isn't just about gross stuff, I have more class than that dammit! Anime is seriously underappreciated by a lot of folks over 30. It's real fast moving, the dialogue is often confusing and over my head, but sometimes you come across some real great content, and not I'm not talking about tentacle monster porn. I'm talking about Akira and Ponyo, even Attack on Titan which I can't stress enough is a seriously amazing spectacle to behold.
7. Bologna. I'm not the religious type, but I seriously believe bologna is the meat of the gods. It's diverse, you can have it with breakfast, lunch or dinner. It lasts a long time and is really cheap. My Mom used to make bologna boats for us when we were kids. Fry up the bologna on one side when it forms a bowl and put some scrambled eggs and cheese inside the boat. Man that's some good eating.
6. Dutch Ovens. Guys, we all know this one. It's when you fart under the sheets and pull the sheet over your spouses head...Good times.
5. Kidney Stones. This is a fact. I've passed 104 kidney stones and I've had four surgeries to remove stones too large to pass. So why is this an underappreciated gem? Well, for one, it's a hell of a conversation starter, and you get lots of sympathy, but the main reason can be summed up in the number one spot a few places below. Our photo database didn't have any pictures of kidney stones, so imagine the Rolling Stones as tiny jagged pieces of crystal tearing up your insides
4. Gas Station Biscuits. Don't ever judge a book by it's cover. Or a biscuit by it's maker. Some of the best food I've ever had were at truck stops and gas stations. As a matter of a fact, the best breakfast biscuits i've ever had are at a gas station in Madison just off of the Greenbrier Exit on 565. No kidding. THE BEST!
3. Cable Access/Public Access TV. Some amazing talent and not so amazing talent comes out of cable access TV. Either way it's almost always entertaining. You also have to give credit. These guys are really putting themselves out there.
2. Distance. Is there anything better than cancelling plans? No. Additionally if you put space between yourselves and loved ones, there's less chance of them popping in uninvited and you can eat your cheetos in your underwear without worry. But, don't stray too far because blood is thicker than water...and cheeto dust.
1. Pain. The only way to truly appreciate the good things in life is to experience pain. Whether it's physical or emotional, pain makes us stronger, helps us grow. It's never usually any fun but without it the pleasure is meaningless. I know that one day, I'm not going to be here, none of us will be, but that intense sensation, that discomfort is truly the best way to know you're alive and kicking.
"If you look under your seats, you're all getting Spankings!"